The Last Something That Meant Anything
by broadwaybaby4205
Summary: COMPLETE! Four times Chuck Bass told Blair Waldorf he loved her and the one time he didn't. Pre-series to present time. Pairing: ChuckBlair.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey, people! So, basically this fanfic is five times Chuck told Blair he loved her, as you read in the summary, so yeah. I hope you guys like it! Read and review por favor! Oh, and special thanks to the amazing Michelle (sunday nights), for letting me know what she thought of this and for giving me the title! Now on with the story. :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl, there would so not be a month long hiatus.**

A five-year-old Blair Waldorf sat on a bench at the Park Avenue Presbyterian playground smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in her bleach white dress. She had a plum colored satin bow tied around it, and a white patent leather headband placed amongst her flawless chocolate curls as she sat and watched Nate and Serena play on the swings.

It wasn't fair. Why did Nate like Serena better than her? She had a theory that it was just because Serena's hair was blonde and shiny.

She grabbed her purple pea coat off of the bench and wrapped it around her shoulders as the cold October air began to blow harder, sending chills up and down her tiny spine.

She glared ominously as Nate pushed Serena higher, her best friend giggling in response. Blair pondered whether or not she should tell Serena she liked Nate. Maybe that would get her to stop playing with him so much.

As she continued to ponder her predicament, she heard footsteps approaching behind her and whirled around to see none other than Chuck Bass standing before her.

He was wearing a little white suit paired with a purple dress shirt and a white tie.

"Waldorf," he smirked, sitting down next to her.

"Chuck. Always a pleasure. Oh, wait, no, it's not," she retorted.

"Okay, what's wrong with you? Just tell me because you know I'll find out," he demanded.

Blair's response was to motion with her tiny hands to Nate and Serena playing on the swings.

"Are you kidding me?" Chuck scoffed, raising an eyebrow at Blair, which simply earned him a withering glare.

"Why would I be kidding?" Blair returned.

"Nathaniel may be my friend, but he's excruciatingly dull," Chuck drawled.

"You sound like you're forty. Where did you even learn the word excucatingly?" Blair mispronounced.

"You said it wrong. And that's not the point. If you really want Nate's attention there's only one thing to do," Chuck informed her.

"What?" Blair probed.

"Make him jealous," Chuck suggested with a smirk.

"How would I do that?" Blair asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Easy. Pretend I'm your boyfriend," Chuck told her.

"Ew, no!" Blair scoffed, a disgusted looking gracing her features.

"Well, if you really want Nate to like Serena…" Chuck hinted.

"Fine," Blair huffed, "What do we do?"

"Easy, just ignore him and act like you like me. Just pretend I'm Nate," Chuck explained.

"Fine," Blair gave in, "But this better work, Bass."

"It will," Chuck promised, "Now give me your hand."

"Ew, why?" Blair wrinkled her nose.

"Just do it," Chuck insisted, rolling his eyes as Blair grasped his hand.

The two began to walk toward Nate and Serena, a smirk on Chuck's face while Blair tried to stay calm.

She really hoped this idea would work.

"Hi, Serena. Hi, Nate," Blair greeted.

"Hi," Serena enthusiastically replied with a huge grin.

"Hi, Blair," Nate smiled.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked her friend.

"I'm just playing with my boyfriend," Blair boasted, showing off their entwined hands to Nate and Serena.

"Chuck's your boyfriend?" Nate incredulously inquired.

Blair nodded in response, pressing her small pink lips against Chuck's cheek.

Blech. She was going to have to take a shower after this.

Chuck grinned from ear to ear. Blair Cornelia Waldorf had just kissed him. He felt a slight fluttering in his stomach, but chose to ignore it and give his attention to the situation at hand.

"Come on, Blair, let's go play on the slide," Chuck insisted.

"Okay," Blair grinned happily as she skipped off with Chuck.

"That was disgusting," she declared as soon as Serena and Nate were out of earshot, wiping her mouth off several times using the sleeve of her coat.

"You're telling me," Chuck lied.

The two walked in silence until they reached the large slide. After they had gone down it a few times, Chuck saw Nate approaching in the distance and informed Blair.

"Nathaniel's coming," he declared as she reached the bottom of the slide.

"What do we do? Act like you're my boyfriend!" Blair commanded.

Chuck looked at Nate's approaching figure, which was coming closer and close to the slide, sans Serena. He examined Blair, who eyed him expectantly. His tiny heart was beating faster and faster as he looked between the two and finally he did the only thing he could think of.

He pressed his lips against hers, in a short kiss, his pulse racing a mile a minute as he felt the nervous fluttering return to his stomach.

Out of the corner of his eye, Chuck could see Nate watching them, an annoyed expression gracing his boyish features.

If Blair wanted him to act like her boyfriend, then he would.

"I love you," Chuck informed her.

"Nate," Blair greeted, turning her attention to the blonde-haired boy standing beside them, "What do you want?"

"I love you more than Chuck. Will you be my girlfriend instead?" Nate asked.

"But what about Serena?" Blair inquired.

"I like you more," he grinned, flashing his bleach white teeth.

"Sure!" Blair happily grinned, tossing her arms around Nate, "Can you give me a minute to break up with Chuck first?"

"Sure," Nate agreed, "I'll be waiting by the monkey bars."

As soon as Nate was gone, Blair unleashed her wrath on Chuck.

"How dare you!" she shouted, kicking him forcefully with her brand new Mary Janes.

"What did I do wrong? You're Nate's girlfriend, aren't you?" Chuck retorted.

"You stole my first kiss!" Blair hollered angrily.

"What do you mean? You kissed me first!" Chuck defended.

"On the cheek! It's different," Blair pouted, "I wanted my first real kiss to be with Nate and now it won't be! It's all your fault!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" Chuck grumbled, feeling a pang of an unnamed emotion that he would later categorize as jealousy wash over his body.

"Look, let's just pretend it never happened, okay?" she insisted.

"Fine," Chuck agreed, "Get back to your boyfriend."

"Will do," she smirked in response, sauntering off toward the monkey bars leaving Chuck alone.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this! I know they seem really mature for kindergarteners, but I tried, I really did! Well, anyway, you know the drill. Press the pretty button! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this! One thing though, people who review/favorite, please review! I've gotten like, tons of alerts and favorites and only five reviews. I know I sound whiny, but come on people. It takes like a minute of your time. Anyway, here's chapter two. It takes place right after the brunch in episode two of season one. And special thanks to Michelle (sunday nights) for her beta! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl that would be awesome. But I don't.**

"Charles Bartholomew Bass, if you don't open your door this second-" Blair hollered, but was cut off when the door swung open to reveal Chuck dressed in a black silk robe, scotch in hand, his signature smirk in place.

"Waldorf," he drawled, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Blair hissed, "You know fully well what you did, you bastard."

"I believe you meant who I did. Even so, I don't understand how that concerns you. Unless you're admitting you're jealous," Chuck accused, raising an eyebrow.

Blair's response was to glare at him accusingly before crushing his bare feet with her black stiletto pumps, but he simply smirked in response.

"I love you too, Waldorf," he sarcastically declared.

"Back on topic, here," Blair commanded with a withering glare, "How could you?"

"I'm afraid I'm not following," Chuck replied.

"You idiot!" she hollered, kneeing him.

"Ow," Chuck wailed, "Just tell me what's wrong, before I suffer any more injuries."

"You knew, you asshole!" Blair yelled, letting herself into his suite as Chuck followed her in, slamming the door behind them.

"Let's face it, I know everything. You're going to have to be a bit more specific," Chuck insisted.

"You knew Nate slept with Serena and you didn't even have the decency to tell me!" Blair accused.

"Since when did you assume I had decency?" Chuck smirked in response as Blair grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, practically snapping it off.

"Alright, alright," Chuck surrendered, breaking away from her death grip and flopping on his couch.

Blair followed his lead and sat down beside him, staring hardly in front of her, her pale arms crossed stubbornly. She refused to look at him for what seemed like hours as his eyes bore into the side of her face.

God, she hated Serena. Some best friend she was. What was so great about her anyway? Why did everyone think she was so wonderful? Just because she was everything Blair wasn't? Talk about a cruel twist of fate. Everyone always picked Serena over her and she was sick of it. Her mother. Nate. The girls at school come Monday most likely. Just once, Blair wanted to be someone's first choice. Anyone.

Slowly, she began to feel a burning sensation build up in her eyes and blinked a few times. Blair could feel her eyes fill with water kept her eyes focused on the bar, willing herself not to cry. She would not cry in front of Chuck Bass. Finally, she grew uncomfortable increasingly quickly as a result of both the feeling of his intense gaze and her determination not to cry.

Blair was a skilled actress, although not many knew it. She was an expert at masking her emotions. At pretending that everything was alright when she felt like she wanted to die. And she would not break that mask in front of Chuck Bass.

"Where are you going?" Chuck asked, looking up at her.

"Home," she choked, holding back tears.

She would not cry. She would not cry. She would not cry. She continued to repeat the mantra in her head.

It was no use, for has hard as she willed herself to relax, it did no good as tears began to pour down her porcelain-looking features. She would not cry in front of Chuck Bass.

She wouldn't allow herself to.

God, this was humiliating.

She looked broke her eye contact with him and began to storm toward the door until he grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

She whirled around, eyeing him.

"What do you want, Bass?" she inquired, attempting to sound threatening, but it came out sounding all the more broken.

His response was to simply pull her into his embrace, planting his lips on her dark locks.

Chuck's pulse quickened as he wrapped his arms around her small form, the petite brunette beneath him sobbing into his robe.

He swore Nathaniel was going to regret this. How could he do this to her? How could Nate be stupid enough to even compare Serena to Blair? And the fact that he had actually acted on his ridiculous feelings made it all the more worse.

Chuck was far from the number one advocate for monogamy, but the way Nate treated Blair made him sick. And quite frankly, he just couldn't fucking understand it. If Blair belonged to him, he wouldn't look at another woman twice. And that was saying a lot.

The two stayed that way for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes.

Finally, he broke away and looked her straight in the eye.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, sincerity evident in his tone as he reached out and wiped the mess of tears off of her cheekbones.

He felt a faint giddy nausea and his stomach, but wrote it off as he continued to gaze into her dark eyes, nervously awaiting her response, although he tried his best not to let it show.

Blair stood there, stunned for a few moments. That was the first time she had ever heard Chuck say he was sorry about anything. Ever.

Blair simply nodded, smiling up at him. And, for the first time Blair saw Chuck smile down at her in reponse.

**A/N: Well, that's chapter two. I know it was short, but I hope you liked it. Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed! You're so sweet. Anyway, here's chapter three. I hope you guys enjoy it. :) It takes place after Chuck and Blair go back to Blair's to plot in episode 1x17, Woman on the Verge.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl, the hiatus would be over already.**

"That bitch," Blair hissed once Chuck had flopped down on her bed beside her.

"I know," Chuck agreed, "She is so going down, no pun intended."

"You're disgusting," Blair scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I tell it like it is," Chuck smirked, but Blair simply glared at him, before staring straight ahead of her, looking deep in thought.

As soon as her eyes were off of him, he began to examine her petite form. God, she was gorgeous. Her dark curls cascaded down the back of her sequin-covered dress. He allowed his eyes to travel down her ensemble. Her dress was pooled around her, cutting about mid-thigh, as she had her legs to the side so they were barely brushing his hip. He felt a tightening in his pants as his palms began to sweat.

This night was going to be the death of him.

Finally, she whipped her head around, causing him to break his gaze and turn his attention to the floor in front of him.

"So, what do we do?" Blair asked Chuck and he looked up to meet her eyes. God, he loved her eyes.

"Georgina knows every trick in the book. She's just as good as we are. She'll find a way out of any trap we set up," Blair finished.

"Well, we're the best of the best. We'll find a way to spring something on her she never saw coming," Chuck smirked deviously.

"Well, my specialty happens to be social destruction, and quite frankly, Georgina's already taken care of that herself," Blair scoffed.

Slowly, Blair pulled her brunette locks to one side, rubbing the back of her neck. Chuck felt his throat go dry. She was trying to kill him.

"And ideas?" she inquired, her hair still pulled to one side.

_Chuck Bass does not stutter, _he reminded himself. _Calm the fuck down._

"Well, I could always call Mike," Chuck suggested, looking down in order focus on anything other than her exposed neck.

However, his plan backfired, for his eyes immediately fell on her chest. She was leaning slightly forward on the bed, causing the neckline of her dress to fall forward slightly, enabling him to see partially down her dress. Chuck rapidly refocused on her face, trying to ignore the fact that she was clearly not wearing a bra.

"But that brings us back to the problem that social destruction will get us nowhere," Blair reminded, pursing her lips together.

God, she was driving him absolutely crazy. He eyed her plump, cherry red lips as she pressed them together, watching him for a response.

"I have an idea," Chuck announced.

"Which would be?" Blair probed, raising her eyebrows.

"We could get her parents involved," Chuck suggested.

"I like the way you think, Bass," Blair grinned, "Do tell."

"We call Mike and have him get all the dirt on Georgina he can find. He'll report to us. Then, we can call her parents and tell them everything, and she'll be gone by the wedding," Chuck explained.

"Wow, I must say, I am impressed. That's quite a scheme," Blair nodded in approval.

"Thank you," Chuck seductively replied, "You know, if you'd like to reward me for coming up with such a brilliant idea, I wouldn't be apposed."

"I would rather move to Queens and live on nothing but sausage and meatball pizza for the rest of my life," Blair responded in disgust.

"You're that repulsed by me?" Chuck asked raising an eyebrow, his lips twisting into a familiar smirk.

"What can I say? I want to avoid exposure to contagious diseases," Blair smirked sweetly but threateningly. "Anyway, I'll call her parents in the morning and let them know how 'concerned' we are for their daughter."

"But, how do we know they're going to get her out of Manhattan?" Chuck questioned.

"Well, when we tell them about her antics, they'll have no option," Blair stated as if it were obvious.

"Maybe we could find somewhere to send her, and tell them about it," Chuck recommended.

"Not a bad idea, Bass," Blair smirked, reaching for her laptop on the floor beside her bed.

As she reached for it, her dress slid up so that if it had moved up even half an inch, her underwear would be visible to Chuck. He gulped and urged himself to stay calm as he felt the blood rush from his head.

He snapped his focus away from her as she pulled her laptop onto the bed, flipping it open and turning it on. As it loaded, the two sat there in silence.

As Blair stared blankly into space, she finally said something.

"Did you mean it?" Blair inquired a tiny voice.

"Mean what?" Chuck probed, looking down at her in confusion.

Chuck couldn't get over how she could go from manipulative bitch to lost and hurt in less than five seconds. He didn't even know what she was referring to her, and already he wanted to comfort her. She just looked so broken.

"What you said at the bar," Blair clarified, "About now wanting me anymore."

She looked down and pretended to pick an imaginary piece of lint off of her dress as she nervously awaited his response, praying to God he would say no.

Meanwhile, Chuck simply stared. He had been doing a lot of that that night. How could she possibly have believed that? Couldn't she tell she was his entire fucking world? He would never stop wanting her, as much as he wished he would.

As he eyed her tiny figure, he reached across the bed, his heart beating rapidly as he grabbed hold of her hand. He interlaced his fingers with hers, stroking her small hand softly. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away. It felt like heaven to feel her buttery skin press against his again. As he held his grasp on her hand, he lifted it up, pressing a soft kiss against it. By this point, he felt as if he were about to pass out any moment.

Without looking up at her, he kissed her hand again and answered her question.

"No," he muttered.

He placed their entwined hands back on the comforter, and much to his surprise, she still did not move. They stayed like that until Blair's desktop had finally loaded. Then, she let go of his hand and opened up the search engine, typing in "Penance Boot Camp".

"Wow, Waldorf," Chuck grinned in admiration, "Did you do some time there or something?"

"You know fully well that I didn't. After all, you would have seen me. I assume you're a regular," she smirked.

Chuck raised an eyebrow in response.

"Lily was talking about sending Serena here a few years ago," Blair clarified as she opened the link to their official website.

"Penance Boot Camp for Troubled Girls," Chuck mused as he allowed his eyes to skim over the webpage, "I like it."

"Perfect," Blair replied, her cherry red lips twisting into a small smile, "So, Mike will call us with the dirt on Georgina in the morning. Then, we'll call her parents and tell them everything, including the information on Penance."

"I must say, Waldorf, I'm impressed. This is some of our best work," Chuck nodded appreciatively.

"That it is," she agreed.

"I believe a little celebration is in order," Chuck suggested lecherously.

"How about you leave and then I'll have even more to celebrate," Blair suggested.

"No can do," Chuck replied.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Blair scoffed nonchalantly.

"I'd be happy to accompany you," he informed her.

"Chuck, out, now," Blair demanded.

"I dismissed my driver for the night, meaning the limo is unavailable. I would either have to walk or take a cab. Spare me, Waldorf," Chuck pleaded.

After a few moments of mulling it over, Blair finally made her decision.

"Fine," she agreed, "But you sleep on the floor."

"Fair enough. But if you get lonely, I'm always here," Chuck reminded.

"You're heinous," Blair announced, shutting her laptop and placing it on the floor.

"You, floor, now," she insisted before flopping down on her comforter, still fully clothed.

"No pajamas?" Chuck questioned disappointedly.

"Sleep. Now," Blair insisted before shutting off her lamp.

Meanwhile, Chuck lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. He remembered the last time he slept in here. It was the night before the debutante ball. He had come over and they…entertained themselves…in her bed for hours. When she finally fell asleep, he laid there for hours, just holding here. He hated the idea of her going to the ball with Nate. Nate never appreciated her for who she was, flaws and all. Chuck did.

Chuck slowly rose to his feet and glanced over to Blair's bed. The petite brunette was fast asleep, a small smile playing at her features. He allowed his eyes to skim over her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, so innocent, and so graceful.

He carefully slid down beside her on her silk sheets, his eyes fixed on her porcelain features.

Very slowly, he placed his arm around her tiny waist.

At that moment, something clicked in his head. He had always felt it, but it was then that he truly acknowledged it.

"I love you," he murmured, planting a soft kiss on her forehead before dosing off to sleep beside her.

**A/N: Longer than usual. I hope you liked it. Review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Here's chapter four which is the second to last chapter. Sorry for the wait, I've had writer's block. Anywhosers, I hope you guys enjoy it! It takes place after their ending scene at the White Party. Read and review! Oh, and I've been meaning to say, thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed! It really means a lot! :) And special thanks to Kendra (IAmNowACheckerboardChick) and Michelle (sunday nights) for looking this over! **

**Disclaimer: If Gossip Girl were mine, the new episodes would be airing now! **

"Well, Blair, I'm thrilled that you found it in yourself to accept my apology," Marcus grinned as he sat on Blair's bed with her.

"Of course, sweetie," Blair replied.

The two had just returned from the White Party and were watching the film version of _The Great Gatsby_ as they lay sprawled across her bed.

Blair kept willing herself to forget about Chuck, to focus on Marcus and the film, but it wasn't working. All she could think about was the White Party.

She wanted to die. He didn't love her. He really didn't. Blair could feels tears welling up in her chocolate colored orbs, but blinked a few times, refocusing on the movie.

She just had to wait until Marcus left. Then she could flop down on her bed and cry all she wanted.

Marcus slid his arm around her and she moved further into his embrace, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent.

He didn't smell the same. He didn't have that faint scent of scotch and cigarettes that was always present on Chuck. Instead, Marcus smelled like a mixture of bleach and aloe.

However, she tried her best to ignore it, and planted a kiss on his chest before focusing her attention on the movie yet again. Needless to say, that didn't last long, for an idea popped into her head.

Maybe if she were to get more physical with Marcus, then she could forget about Chuck completely. For all she knew, the British were amazing in bed. There was nothing wrong with enjoying that.

Blair brought her lips up to his ear, nibbling on it slowly before tracing her lips down his jaw line. Finally, she reached his neck and began to slowly caress his skin with her lips.

"Blair, what are you doing?" Marcus inquired.

"I was just thinking we should properly make up," she smirked, continuing to caress his neck with her lips in between words.

"Darling, not right now. Let's watch the movie, shall we?" Marcus suggested, pulling away from her and placing his hand on hers, patting it slowly.

Great. Apparently Marcus didn't want her either. Just wonderful.

Blair looked up and through the open bathroom door, could see her reflection. She carefully scrutinized herself.

Her cheeks looked puffier than usual, and her stomach flabbier. With one hand, she very discreetly brought her hand over her stomach, gripping the excess fat.

She turned to look at Marcus, only to discover his attention was still on the movie. Blair then glanced back in the mirror.

No wonder Marcus didn't want her. No wonder Chuck didn't love her.

She felt the tears begin to form in her eyes yet again, and willed herself to hold on for just another hour and a half. She turned to Marcus, continuing to hold back tears as she twisted her cherry red lips into a smirk.

"I'll be right back," Blair announced, rising to her feet.

"Where are you going? Shall I pause the movie?" Marcus asked.

"Go ahead," Blair insisted, "I was just thinking I should give Serena a call and make sure she got home safely."

"Alright then, my dear," Marcus nodded, pressing the play button on the remote control.

Blair grabbed her cell phone off of the nightstand before heading out the door, shutting it carefully behind her, and carefully stepping down the stairs, and sauntering into the kitchen.

She opened up the refrigerator and allowed her eyes to skim over its contents.

Finally, her eyes fell on a large cake that sat on the middle shelf. It looked flawless. A small slice had been taken out of the side, but it was barely noticeable. The white, creamy frosting was perfectly piled onto the cake, intricate patterns etched into the sides. There were four strawberries clumped in the center with chocolate drizzled over them in a neat pattern.

It was perfect. Not one flaw. It was everything Blair wasn't. She pulled it out of the refrigerator, shutting it, and placed the cake on the shelf. She slid open the drawer to the left of the refrigerator, snatching a fork out of it.

She examined the fork as well. It was sterling silver, not a scratch on it. The very end of the fork was neatly rounded, tiny dots etched along the sides of it.

Like the cake, it was flawless. Blair lifted it and dug it deep into the cake getting a large bite onto her fork before placing it in her mouth.

She savored the creamy consistency before swallowing her first bite of the spongy cake. At this point, she could feel moist tears trickle down her rose-colored cheeks as her vision began to fog.

As she removed the fork from her mouth, and went to take her second bite, her phone rang.

Blair placed her fork down on the shelf before answering it without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" Blair answered, hoping to God her voice wouldn't crack.

"Blair," she heard Chuck's voice mumble on the other end of the receiver.

"What do you want, Bass?" she shot back.

"Just to talk to you," he drawled.

Oh, God. She recognized that tone. He was drunk. Oh joys.

"Chuck, how much have you had to drink?" she interrogated.

"A normal amount," he insisted.

"How much is a normal amount?" Blair probed.

"Just two bottles of scotch," he muttered.

"Two bottles of scotch?" she screeched in her best hushed tone.

"It might've been two and a half," he mused.

"Not the point right now. What were you thinking drinking that much? You're going to become an alcoholic before you can legally vote," Blair scoffed.

"Blair," Chuck began.

"Why did you even call me anyway? After our conversation today, I think we both know we should just stay away from each other," Blair reminded.

"I just wanted to talk to you," Chuck said in a small voice.

Blair felt an aching in her chest. He sounded so lost and so weak.

"What about?" she inquired, her voice softening a bit.

"I'm sorry," Chuck continued, "I wanted to say it, I really did."

Blair closed her eyes, taking a deep breathe before answering. She would not cave to him.

"Chuck, we're done. You had your chance and you lost it," she reminded coldly.

"But I love you. I was just scared," Chuck drawled.

Blair commanded herself to ignore him. He was drunk. He didn't know what he was saying.

"You're in no condition for us to have this discussion right now, Chuck," Blair insisted, "I'll talk to you when you've come back to your senses."

And with that, Blair hung up.

When she put the phone down, she simply stared at the cake. She had lost all desire to eat it, and found herself simply standing there, staring. She couldn't shake Chuck's words from her head as hard she tried. He may have been drunk, but he still said it. His tone of voice was utterly heartbreaking. His voice seemed to caress the words as he spoke them, sadness evident in his soft, broken tone.

Blair eyed the cake before opening the refrigerator. She lifted the cake and placed it in the fridge, slamming the door shut.

**A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter! Review pretty please! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Well, guys, here's the final chapter. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed! I really appreciate it! And extra special thanks to Michelle (sunday nights) and Kendra (IAmNowACheckerboardChick). This is like, the time Chuck didn't say he loved her. Read and review! And if you guys liked this, check out "I Should Tell You", my mega, never-ending CB fic.**

**Disclaimer: If Gossip Girl were mine, Chuck's character would not slowly be being assassinated. **

As Blair stood in the beautifully adorned room, all she wanted to do was melt into the floor. Everything was covered in shades of white silk and lace, creating a classic feel amidst the room.

It was perfect. And that's exactly what her life wasn't. Perfect.

As she watched Eleanor and Cyrus stare adoringly into each other's eyes, she just wanted to get away from here. She wanted to crawl under her covers, eat chocolate truffles, and watch _Funny Face_.

Why didn't anything ever work out? It was like all of the elements in the universe were working against her.

She fought for Chuck. She really did. Long and hard. She went out on a limb and said it to him first, because he needed someone. And because she felt it. More than she had with anyone. Blair knew he was slowly self destructing and needed someone to tell him they cared. And that's exactly what she did.

Too bad he threw it back in her face.

Blair tried her best to listen to Cyrus. To convince herself that he was just going through a hard time right now.

But, no matter what he was going through, he was still Chuck. He knew what saying that meant to her. And to him once upon a time as well. He knew that she did not take that lightly in the slightest.

And that's why, try as she may to convince herself otherwise, Blair couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he really didn't care. It wasn't that he was going through a hard time, or not himself, or whatever other shit people kept telling her. Maybe he truly didn't love her.

Ha. Of course he didn't. He was Chuck Bass. He was incapable of loving anyone, and she was stupid to ever think otherwise.

She silently willed herself not to cry as Eleanor and Cyrus said their vows. Why did they get the happily ever after? Why did they get to be happy? Why did they get to be in love?

She could feel her eyes flood with tears and blinked back as her vision began to fog.

Blair glanced to the side to see Serena happily grasping Aaron's hand. Blair held onto her bouquet of flowers tightly, looking down at them. They were purple…

_Blair Waldorf sat at her vanity, combing her hair. _

_It was the day after Thanksgiving and she was going shopping with Serena in an hour. _

_They were planning on meeting at a restaurant on Park Avenue next door to the Waldorf-Astoria for lunch, and then shopping on Madison and maybe stopping at Bergdorf's and Bendel's if they had time. _

_She continued to comb through her flawless dark curls, mulling over what to wear. She was currently clad in a white silk robe. _

_Blair heard a soft creaking noise, causing her to immediately look toward her door. Sure enough, there stood Chuck Bass, smirk perfectly in place._

"_Bass," she greeted nonchalantly, "You're back early."_

"_Bart had a business meeting first this morning," he drawled, "Not to mention, I didn't want you to get lonely."_

"_Well, fyi, I have plenty of company," Blair informed him._

"_I picked these up for you at the airport," Chuck smirked, holding out a bouquet of purple flowers._

"_You bought me flowers?" Blair questioned in surprise, raising an eyebrow.  
_

"_Don't act so surprised," he muttered, "I got you a birthday present, didn't I?"_

"_True," Blair noted, "Thanks."_

"_You're welcome," Chuck answered, "Now, I'm curious as to how you're planning on repaying me."_

"_They're flowers, Chuck, not a ticket to Prague, which would be a perfect Christmas present, by the way," Blair hinted, "And anyway, I'm meeting Serena in twenty minutes and I'm still not dressed."_

"_I personally vote we keep it that way. Getting dressed is highly overrated," Chuck leered, pressing his soft lips to Blair's cheek._

_She felt her pulse quicken ever so slightly at the small amount of contact, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink._

"_I guess Serena won't mind if I'm a little bit late," Blair smirked._

Blair wiped her tears away, looking up to smirk at her mother and Cyrus.

_She was happy for them. She was happy for them. She was happy for them._

Blair continued to repeat the mantra in her head. Just a little bit longer. Then she could disappear into her room.

She allowed her lips to twist into a small smile as Eleanor and Cyrus finished saying their vows. It was sweet. They really loved each other. She wished she and Chuck could have that. But apparently that would never happen.

She shook the thoughts from her head, forcing herself to at least try to have fun as Cyrus opened the champagne.

"To the Waldorf-Roses!" he announced as the group clinked glasses.

Blair smiled against the champagne flute as she took a sip. She someone tap her on the shoulder and glanced to the side to see Dorota standing before her.

"Miss Blair, Mr. Chuck upstairs to see you," Dorota informed her.

Blair felt her heartbeat quicken with a mix of anger and something else.

She smirked at her mother, Cyrus, Serena, and Aaron before gracefully heading upstairs.

Who did he think he was? He couldn't just reject her and then show up and expect her to forgive him just because the great Chuck Bass decided he felt like seeing her now.

She couldn't take much more of his mood swings. Honestly, this was ridiculous.

That was it. Blair would not let him walk all over her. She was going to go up there and tell him that he had no right to do this. If he didn't love her, then fine, but he had to leave her alone.

Blair entered her room and saw his pale form on her bed.

"What do you think you're doing here?" she interrogated, stepping closer and closer to him.

Finally, she stood in front of him, ready to tell him that she was done. That she was sick of the way he treated her, and if he didn't care then to just leave her alone.

But, then, he looked up and met her gaze. He looked so unbelievably broken that she couldn't bring herself to say any of what she had planned.

Instead, she pulled him into her embrace, because she didn't need to hear it anymore. He didn't need to say it, because she knew it was true. She could see it in eyes.

**A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked this fic! Review please! :)**


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